Writing 100 Articles In 100 Days. What Did I Learn?

Photo by Michael Competielle

“You never have to change anything you got up in the middle of the night to write.”

 — Saul Bellow

Today is day 100 of a 100-day writing challenge. The idea was to attempt to write 100 original articles with original photography and publish them. The topics and context we not of importance. In reality, honesty and self-reflection was the priority of this writing exercise. 

Never having written anything before I was presented with a challenge lacking in familiarity and comfort. What was I going to say and how was I planning to say it? 

Looking Inside Myself 

As I began to look inside myself I recognized I needed to find the voice. Being introspective of yourself and displaying your thoughts and emotions leaves you a feeling of exposure and nakedness. It was the warmth of connection and encouragement I received from my readers and writing partner that kept me on track and forthcoming.

Wild flurries of emotionalism flew out of me as I henpecked away word by word, sentence by sentence formulating subconscious thoughts into tangible content. 

When I was in my comfort zone was when I faded off into a meditative state tapping away words that came out of me like I was telling a best friend an innermost deep story. Hours later I’d reread what I’d written and often questioned who was the author, confident it clearly wasn’t me. I’d plagiarized my own words. Hacking into the databanks of my inner psyche. 

Time and Space

The best time to write was early in the morning. My dogs would be snoring, the outside world is relatively silent and I could immerse myself into this transcendent writing flow.

My photographs were my inspiration as I’d write based on the emotional impact I felt from the experiences of exploration into self-discovery. 

Researching my thoughts and looking for supporting content would leave me exploring rabbit holes of discovery as I learned more from becoming a writer than I had from being a reader. My mind an absorptive sponge ingesting and processing massive quantities of data. I forced myself to go out and find inspiration and everything I found became inspiring. 

Tapping away letter by letter I’d lose myself in the moment. Time would pass often quickly as I transported myself into another place in time. Gravity and it’s holding power diminished as I wrote and explored the outside world. I no longer walked on the ground but on a layer of air, slightly elevated above the surface of the world. Airy and light yet not quite floating. 

Time has become more precious than ever before as I respect every moment, recognizing time as our most priceless resource. My relationships with the outside world have felt a bit removed from those that don’t create or can not absorb. The nonreaders are the nonthinkers. Vessels of lifelessness missing the purpose of life and connection. 

Who Is This Crazy Guy?

My discoveries as I wrote in this meditative style yielded wildly varying articles that began to weave the fabric of my consciousness. Patterns of words and phrases were repeated from article to article with differences in meaning and relevance. Each philosophy and theory cumulatively assembling into an enlightened version of me.

As the articles were published new connections were made with friends that began to read my content. The highlight of the writing exercise was when a brilliant inspirational idol shared one of my better posts on Twiter.

As time passed by day by day, articles were published and readership increased. Topics of creativity were well received as were articles on mindfulness.

As I wrote more and more my connection to my mind and soul was enriched. Self-discovery and self-awareness were constant topics I learned the most about myself.

During the hundred days, I found not only could I effectively write but it was simple to get lost inside my conscious. In the next 100 days, you’ll a new level of exploration and discovery. My connections to myself and my mind’s eye have nurtured my world of literary exploration.

Relationships And Letting Everyone Down

Photo by Michael Competielle

I’ve attended many concerts where I felt let down and I was wishing it would be something else. Not that it’s their duty to please me, but at the same time, I think a lot about what it’s like through the eyes of the consumer, the fan. I want not to pander to the audience, but to be aware of them.

Trent Reznor

How many people did you please today? I’m hoping the number outweighs the sum of people that you let down. Each morning I awaken with the goal of placing my best foot forward by being mindful and empathetic. Each minute of each day ticking by as we head towards our end.

Focusing in the moment we attempt to prioritize others while we maintain complacency in our priorities. Relationships require us to give and take to feel complete and whole. Our best way to take is by taking the words and emotions of others and understand their perspective.

As we identify with the other person we can attempt to feel how they feel. Often our understanding needs to be based on perspectives that are impossible for us to understand. Gender, race, ethnicity and financial situations are difficult traits to learn perspective. When we place ourselves into what we believe to be the other’s perspective often we’ll miss the reality of a situation.

Tainted Love

Falling into love with ideas and ideals is disastrous. Reality is paramount in accessing and proper function of a long-living relationship. By being supportive and genuine in other people’s successes and failures we build an impenetrable bond. Sharing in the riches of the fortunes of our relationships we build ourselves up together and grow.

The bitter taste of jealousy by a self-centered relationship becomes a toxic chemical cocktail that poisons relationships. If we focus on our insecurities by turning them outward, we can spoil an otherwise nurturing connection. We can not rely on others to make us happy while we shouldn’t need to rely on others to create ours.

The Big Let Down

When we recognize the negativity exhibited towards us in a tainted relationship generally has little to do with us directly we can begin to focus on the issues. People will want others to create their happiness and fulfillment without recognizing it’s the power of connection and give and take that develops solid bonds.

If you spend your life waiting for that perfect person to please your chances are you’re on a path to the big let down. The best advice in relationships is honesty and being forthcoming with your feelings and emotions. The power of the bond will elevate the relationship to a higher level of connection and development.

Maximizing Your Creativity By Economizing Your Day

Photo by Michael Competielle

How do you know you’ve maximized your day and economized projects to succeed? By prioritizing our day based on establishing small achievable goals while focusing on completing them we can see progress quickly. Morning seems to be a moment in my day where I can be productive and creative optimizing my limited time.

Writing has become easier when I have planned my thoughts prior to even opening my computer. Being I write based on my life experiences, I make sure I document all of them with photographs. When I’m writing about my experiences words begin to follow as I’m describing my recollection of stored details.

To obtain inspiration I love stepping outside into city life to enter into culturally diverse environments. Most cities’ density and mixed uses forsters a culmination of cultural heritage that inspires inspiration. Walking and interacting with diversity help define differences and expands our knowledge.

People watching and focusing on their details

Mornings in a city is a brilliant time to people watch. Window seats in coffeehouses is a favored spot as you can view people candidly observing their body language and movement. As we pay attention to finite details and memorizing them we build attention to details. What makes brilliant writing? Attention to detail and perspective.

When we have clarity and focus on details stored in our memory banks, writing becomes easier. We no longer have to struggle to find words and descriptors to expressive ourselves. As we optimize our writing time while getting into our flow, fully-fledged concepts become paragraphs of precise descriptive narration.

Morning writing lessens environmental influences as we haven’t yet stepped into the outside world. Our thoughts and words are yet to be tainted by the complexities of our day. Allocating morning time towards writing, the compressed availability of free time places pressure on clear and concise phrasing.

Who Wrote This Shit

When I get into my zone, words materialize a rapid pace with fluidity. Minor typos and proper punctuation matter less than getting the words out as if I’m telling a friend a story. Once I get close to what I feel is the end of the article, I’ll reread it to determine how well to flows. When I know I’m writing well the sentences read well. If I’m on track I’ll read the article and question the identity of the author.

It’s in those moments when I’m most creative and thorough that rereading the text makes me question who the author was. It’s that inner voice who comes out and tells the most engaging stories in the briefest amount of time. The economy of time and focusing on small goals have expanded the amount of content I can write about while detail in a focused moment.

Be Yourself, The Rest Will Follow

Photo by Michael Competielle

“The individual has always had to struggle to keep from being overwhelmed by the tribe. If you try it, you will be lonely often, and sometimes frightened. But no price is too high to pay for the privilege of owning yourself.”

 —  Friedrich Nietzsche

It’s lonely in here. My mind races with thoughts and concepts I struggle to explain. Creative ideas take a number hoping to be next in line, a sold-out show it’s standing room only.

A sense of belonging could be warm and comforting if the connection were real and the dialogue reciprocal. It’s the few that understand, those who bend light and medium to create the imaginative. The grandiose experience. 

We feel they are odd, strange and disconnected. Yet it appears we are all engaged with the electronic impulses that energize our flow. Colors and sounds, molten and dark. The embers of creativity fueled by inspiration. Words become paintings and noise becomes art. As we reimagine this dismal place a stomping ground of self-expression.

The rhythm of prose a collection of exacting words, painting the foreground of our creativity. Crazy, wacky, odd and weird, we find solace in our medium. Our emotions left on the canvas as we nakedly shy away, bizarre and antisocial.

Crowds praise and encourage us while we secretly cower in fear. Not to be judged only to be misunderstood.

“ Art and life really are the same, and both can only be about a spiritual journey, a path towards a re-union with a supreme creator, with god, with the divine; and this is true no matter how unlikely, how strange, how unorthodox, one’s particular life path might appear to one’s self or others at any given moment.”

Genesis P-Orridge

We chose who we are and represent ourselves often poorly. Not feeling complete within ourselves we need to express ourselves outwardly. The sounds of our creativity speak volumes in our minds yet sound hollow to the ears of the status quo.

What aspect do others understand we do not know. However, our intellect and judgment is only encouraged by those who understand. 

Trivial matters pain me as I lose irreplaceable time. Infuriated as I see the wasted days fade, filed as history. Tomorrow I shall overcome, stepping out into the light and embrace my struggle to be the only thing that matters. Me. 

Practicing Mindfulness While Exercising Long-Term Thinking

Photo by Michael Competielle

Changing the world for the better begins with individuals creating inner peace within themselves.

Dalai Lama

Circadian Rhythms and Regenerative Thoughts

Every day as I writing I’m researching to find meaning and purpose in my thoughts and philosophies. When words or topics reemerge I’ll gravitate towards the concept and close the loop in my mind. My world has become connected by following the great minds that spent their time contemplating the problems of the present to share in the future.

Last year I was reading an enlightening article by Zachary Crockett The organization building a 10,000-year clock funded by Jeff Bezos. The article explains how a group of brilliant long term thinkers is working to create The Manual for Civilization Begins with a 10,000-year clock and library. The group called The Long Now Foundation established itself to develop long term thinking to solve what appears to be unsolvable problems by thinking long term and planting the seeds for balancing our modern societies’ shortsightedness.

“When I was a child, people used to talk about what would happen by the year 02000. For the next thirty years they kept talking about what would happen by the year 02000, and now no one mentions a future date at all. The future has been shrinking by one year per year for my entire life. I think it is time for us to start a long-term project that gets people thinking past the mental barrier of an ever-shortening future. I would like to propose a large (think Stonehenge) mechanical clock, powered by seasonal temperature changes. It ticks once a year, bongs once a century, and the cuckoo comes out every millennium.”

Daniel Hillis

The Long Now Foundation was developed in 01996 (the five-digit date added the extra zero to solve the deca-millennium bug that will appear in 8,000 years). An assemblage of some of the world’s greatest minds is paving the pathway to thinking and creating for 10,000 years into our future.

Imagine if society had to reset itself within this moment back to the beginning. The Long Now is preparing a library of essential books that will help bring a new civilization up to speed. With donations from many scholars, writers, and artists, it was the donation from Brian Eno, a Long Now board member and my beloved pseudo mentor, that helped me make the connection to the concept of Long Term thought.

With Eno’s philosophies of Generative Music and Art such as 77 Million Paintings we look within the mind of one of our most brilliant thinkers. Brian’s thoughts are often on works that will regenerate themselves or use mathematical analytics to develop nearly infinite possibilities of creations. More so than any artist could ever produce in a lifetime.

As I look at my most treasured inspirations I’m beginning to see the connection to the universe based on their recognition of long term thinking. From Nikola Tesla with Polyphase Electric and Regenerative Power Generation to Steve Jobs‘ Infinite Loop to Ray Kurzweil’s Law of Accelerating Returns and aforementioned Eno’s Generative Art.

An analysis of the history of technology shows that technological change is exponential, contrary to the common-sense “intuitive linear” view. So we won’t experience 100 years of progress in the 21st century — it will be more like 20,000 years of progress (at today’s rate). The “returns,” such as chip speed and cost-effectiveness, also increase exponentially. 

Ray Kurzweil

Long Term Thinking Within This Moment

Writing about the present with my focus on being mindful does not mean I’m avoiding the future. Staying present in a moment allows us to maximize the experience and not waste the resource of this moment. By being present we become connected and absorptive to what powers life can present us. Being present in the moment does not mean we are thinking in the short term and can clearly have the opposite effect.

Modern-day life has most of us thinking about life and situations for the short term. As we engage with each other, watch films, or view art we want to feel good at this moment as we are constantly rushing to the next great thing. The future of our experience and decisions is often overshadowed by rush we get within a moment.

It’s moments like this where the practicing of mindfulness comes into effect. How do you feel as you engage in conversation or connect with a film or works of art? As we learn to become emotionally present we often feel as though we are active in short term thinking however that is untrue.

Mindfulness For Our Future

Most decisions I make I feel are for the long term while I keep my mind in the present. The foods I eat and products I’ll consume are each given a conscience review prior to the purchase as I hold sustainability and necessity paramount in the decision process.

My thoughts and philosophy has become fine-tuned as I’m focusing far out into the distance of my goals. I’m continuously pushing the bar farther away as I continue to learn and develop. As literary and artworks are preserved and curated we need to cherish the generous thoughts of those who felt it necessary to preserve our past to learn in the present about our futures.

The Long Now Member 10800

Stepping Outside Ourselves and Connecting The Dots

“You can’t connect the dots looking forward; you can only connect them looking backwards. So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future.”

― Steve Jobs

Yesterday I was speaking to an artist that fully agreed we must continuously put ourselves out there into the universe and the rewards shall follow.

Each day I photograph, write music, design spaces and post articles that at present may have little to no meaning.

My works are mounding and my creativity is stifled by only time and resources. I’m becoming consumed with my works and quest for knowledge and therefore without daily immersion and stimulation, I die on that day.

Through self-assessment and reflection, I see where I veered off course as I fight to regain control of the speeding train, destination unknown. Particles of thoughts are strewn around inside my mind as I attempt to connect the dots that are creating this new lifeform.

Inspired by self-development, teaching, learning, creating and experiencing my days become focused yet exhausting. When I feel comfort and expertise I take a goose step forward and feel around for connection. Each item I touch or thought I have I’ll struggle to remember as space in my internal hard drive of a mind is limited.

Wasted time and efforts are thrown into my cranial trash as I defragment the information I no longer feel is relevant nor pertinent. Old inspirations and loves make more sense as I develop them further while removing the static of misdirection we are fed in everyday life.

Tabloids and propaganda don’t matter and never make it into the safety of my memory banks. Each file of thought and experience I’m continuing to revisit and relabel and organize. My mind will regain order in the chaos.

Each day of my self-discovery I process and save while I share the highlights that I’m hoping will nurture further developments and connections.

My mind a box of hundreds of puzzle pieces I’m finding similarities that I can use to excite my emotions and creativity in a positive manner.

Live, love, learn, process. Wash, rinse, repeat.

Reducing My Ego While I’m Focusing On Self-Reflection

Photo by Michael Competielle

“The ego relies on the familiar. It is reluctant to experience the unknown, which is the very essence of life.”

Deepak Chopra

Awards, accolades, claps, and likes mean little to nothing to me. Acceptance from others is no longer a priority as I work on developing my ability to self-reflect and generate my own happiness. Hollow is the day in which I don’t learn, explore and make new connections. Looking at my phone I can immediately tell if the day has been a success based on the number of photographs I’ve taken as I photograph my experiences and inspiration for further research and connection.

I’m comforted in handing over the reins to others and see what they can produce. My only judgment of their works is understanding how they feel after having completed their goals. The correlation between creativity and emotion is mesmerizing and the topic of my own self-assessments.

My comfort zone expands with each word I read, or write and hear as I’m like a giant sea sponge absorbing and learning from the inspirations of others. I’ve begun to recognize the genius within everyone and work to help those who haven’t recognized it yet.

Learning has expanded my mind and made new pathways that hadn’t existed before. Neuroscience has become an integral part of my self-discovery and has expanded my thought process as I’m constantly stimulating my medial prefrontal cortex.

This area of our brains is strengthened as we work on self-reflection. Understanding and recognizing our strengths and weaknesses, we can determine what triggers certain emotions and work towards minimizing the impact they triggers have on us. When we self-process our interactions with others we will begin to see patterns of who or what aggravates these receptors.

As I spend my time working on introspection and how my actions interact with others I’m developing tools to continuously return myself back to my happy comfort zone.

My ability to recognize lazy and disingenuous people has enriched my life as I’m no longer focusing on how to correct other people’s insecurities. As I recognize the faults I take stock in knowing I control how I return to my euphoric state through my understanding of self and ego.

By practicing mindfulness, meditation, and self-reflection, I’ve become deeply connected to my inner self and my ego is kept away at arm’s length.

“Midlife is the time to let go of an overdominant ego and to contemplate the deeper significance of human existence.”

 Carl Gustav Jung

Finding Connection In The Age Of Connectivity

Photo by Michael Competielle

“When wireless is perfectly applied the whole earth will be converted into a huge brain, which in fact it is, all things being particles of a real and rhythmic whole. We shall be able to communicate with one another instantly, irrespective of distance. Not only this, but through television and telephony we shall see and hear one another as perfectly as though we were face to face, despite intervening distances of thousands of miles; and the instruments through which we shall be able to do his will be amazingly simple compared with our present telephone. A man will be able to carry one in his vest pocket. Nikola Tesla 1926

We have never been more connected than we are in the present day. From cellphones to social media our connected world has brought us into the experiences of our friends and peers like nothing we have ever witnessed before. As we read through the Twitter feeds and Instagram photos we feel a sense of connection without having to actually be there. A pseudo world of connection and connectivity. 


We all possess feelings of connection that power us through life. I’m certain I’m not the only one that feels that the spirits of the beloved deceased are watching over us, sharing in every situation we find ourselves in. What is saddening to think is the reality that they really are no longer with us and condensed down to a feeling we have or a hope that the connection isn’t lost. 

As we look back to our connected world we feel that likes and retweets are the same as human connection though we are mostly devoid of the interaction of conversation, feelings, and emotion. Our visual bond as we look into another’s eyes and feel a connection to their mind, body, and soul is lost as we look at the pixels on a screen. Do we still have these connections or better yet do we still have actual human interaction?


The other evening I was in a health store purchasing some supplements. I needed to exchange a product I had mistakenly purchased with another similar product. The cashier understood my mistaken purchase and told me where to find the replacement and then offered to walk and show me. 

I didn’t feel I needed the assistance and walked to the rear of the store to find the correct product. I noticed the price was a few dollars more and assumed we would exchange one for one. As I stood before the cashier she looked at the price tag on each product and did the math to determine the difference of $1.80. She rang me up for the difference and hand wrote on my previous receipt the exchange. 

She explained not only the new product and its benefits but also the exchange process which left me with an understanding smile. The store didn’t have scanners or automated cash registers. It was a retail experience designed to maintain interaction with customers and products. It later dawned on me that being it’s a health food store the knowledge of the staff is essential and the connection to the consumer’s needs is their business. 

Why Are We Disconnected

All-day every day I walk around through my day interacting with people. I make it a priority to connect with people and understand how they are feeling. I manage people based on their emotions more than on the actual work. When they are stressed or anxious the work suffers. Help to remove the source of anxiety and the work becomes simple. 

When people feel happy and confident they can complete tasks easily. They become attached to the work and ultimately me as the manager on a connected level. People don’t like to let me down as they have recognized our connection is based on our connection instead of workload. 

I fight against the use of metrics and focus on accessing their emotions. If you have an angry disgruntled employee you need to find the source of the angst and fix that issue. Focusing on connecting with the issues helps to resolve the controversy. 

Finding Connection

Yesterday was a bright and vibrant day. Issues from the day before had almost corrected themselves and actually be determined they weren’t actual issues but someone else’s lack of following procedure.

Warm greetings from an artist friend lead us into a deeply connected conversation of warmth and interpersonal self-discovery as we each motived ourselves in the engagement of conversation expressing our emotions. An interesting conversation with an employee was had in which he had an empathy and understanding of why I felt it was paramount that he was proud and loved his work byproduct.

Photo by Asia Popinska Copyright 2019 Used by Permission

Later in the day, I met with my favorite photographer Asia Popinska whom I share a close metaphysical relationship with. Our connection is through understanding the science of our emotions and feelings and how we put forth ourselves in our art. Her works inspire emotion and introspection that I’ve connected with.

How To Connect

Lose yourself in the moment and forget the distractions of the outside world. Hang on to every word, statement, and thought you hear in a moment. Show your love and affection for others and remind them that they are indeed special. Be honest and exposed. When conversations are deep and well-articulated you will witness the body language of the other person change and your bond will gain strength.

Practicing mindfulness and emotional intelligence we can enhance our connections to others. Positive and honest thoughts will yield a stronger understanding of not friends and peers as well as ourselves.

I walk on a cloud of air, elevated above the angst and anger of others. I’m focused on understanding how others feel and with each passing interact my connections to the outside world have strengthened. The ambiance of a room feels warm and powerful as I find compliancy is communication and connection.

Today is the Perfect Day to Regain Control of Your Future

Photo by Michael Competielle

“Broken vows are like broken mirrors. They leave those who held to them bleeding and staring at fractured images of themselves.”

― Richard Paul Evans, Promise Me

We all make promises we don’t keep. Sometimes those promises have the best intentions that never pan out but many promises are little white lies we never plan to keep. 

If we look at vows like really big and well-articulated promises such as never smoking cigarettes again or refusing to buy certain products, we can see the importance of our statements. When we are honest with ourselves and take a vow we really should enforce our promises. 

Learn From Wrestling 

My son as he was growing up loved to try out playing new sports. He played baseball, football, basketball, and lacrosse. When he was younger and just learning a sport he would over analyze the game. More like a referee or a commentator than a player he always knew what everyone else was doing wrong. He lacked the ability of introspection and therefore was advancing in his sports at a slower pace. 

After a tough football session where he spent a lot of time on the bench, we talked about him trying a new winter sport. I suggested wrestling as a friend of mine who happened to be one of his football coaches was the head coach of the wrestling team was familiar to my son. 

I explained to my son that we play football and play soccer and play lacrosse but we never play wrestling. We just wrestle. One on one, mono e mono. 

As my son began to learn the sport and began to develop he recognized it was him against his opponent. No one else to blame. His success and failures were something he would have to take full responsibility and action for. 

What we learned

The life lessons he learned from wrestling was the power of introspection and self-assessment. As he learned how to read an opponent and size up a situation he knew how he had to tackle the situation. His confidence improved as he experienced successes in winning and knowledge from his losses. 

He ended his wrestling season not only with metals and accolades but with new knowledge of how to perform self-reflection. He was becoming a brilliant athlete as he understood his abilities, his strengths, and his weaknesses. Hitting the lacrosse field that flowing spring was an entirely new kid. His confidence and lack of fear were clear and evident. 

One afternoon I was talking to his coach who was extremely impressed with his development. He asked had we sent him to a lacrosse trainer in which I responded “Nope. He just learned to wrestle.”

Shocked the coach and I discussed how my son was the second-fastest kid on the team and had become the teams go to when the needed someone to climb into the pack and just simply get the ball. My son could, not once but every time. 

After the game, I told my son about the conversation with his coach and how proud I was at him. The second fastest on the team is a decent statistic. My son’s reply has changed my life forever when he stated “I may be the second fastest in a one-off race but I’m the fastest when you look at how I’m consistent the entire game. I can maintain my speed the entire game. When I feel like I’m slowing down I know it’s only me that can push myself harder”.

Brilliance. He had learned his strong point and was harnessing the power. When he recognized he was losing speed he knew when to push himself into overdrive. 

Mirror mirror on the wall

So our mirrors are our gateway into minds. Standing in front of your mirror who do you see? Is this the best version of yourself? Have you made promises to yourself that you failed to keep? What happened to that diet? How about that run you were going to take? 

Don’t worry they were just empty promises you made just like you promised you’d call the old classmate from high school and would get together again. 

Forget promises. Stand tall in front of a mirror and take a vow. A promise to yourself that under any circumstance you will keep. Don’t shatter that mirror standing in the shards of broken promises. Take a vow to regain control of your future. Small vows that we continue to keep our big accomplishments. The more trophies we win for ourselves the further we will develop. 

We must design our futures. Taking steps by vowing to make our dreams a reality is the first step. Small steps will yield large rewards. Take a vow and stick with it. 

This weekend will be 15 months of being on a plant-based diet. It was a vow I took that is a daily decision and become a part of my lifestyle. April 1st will be 11 years since I quit smoking cigarettes. Every day I look in the mirror and I see that new me I created, one morning by just taking a vow. 

Developing Our Relationships by Decoding Emotions

Photo by Michael Competielle

If I asked you “How do you feel?” how would you answer. Understanding that if your immediate answer is “fine” you aren’t trying hard enough. Take another stab at it. “How do you feel?”

It takes a bit of soul searching and being honest with yourself. Do you feel complete? Are you happy with your life decisions and are you working on self-development?

Looking in the mirror and recognizing the truths behind how we feel and why is a key step in self-improvement. I’ve practiced the concept for years and recognize I rarely blame others for my unhappiness or displeasure. Actively I work on understanding cause and effect and what triggers emotions I find unsettling.

Understanding Our Emotions

  • Anger- a strong feeling of annoyance
  • Sadness-a feeling of loss or disparity
  • Anxiety-a feeling of nervousness
  • Hurt-a feeling of physical or mental pain
  • Embarrassment-a feeling of shame or awkwardness
  • Happiness-the feeling of happiness

Relationships amongst people are the way in which we connect and behave towards each other. Our relationships can be with family, friends, acquaintances and romantic. If we work on our relationships with others by paying attention to how the other person feels we can improve our connections.

The Emotional Spectrum

If we look from one emotion to another we can understand why we should try to regulate ourselves by balancing on one emotion while we try to minimize others.

More importantly than just having a positive mood, happiness is a state of well-being that comprises living a good life, with a sense of meaning and purpose. For most of us, it’s happiness that we are trying to obtain and maintain.

For most of us, we try to go about our daily lives in a positive mood while feeling happiness. We will attempt to surround ourselves with happy positive people as we maintain our happiness.

Our homes will be decorated with items that make us happy. We dress and entertain ourselves in an attempt to keep ourselves on the path to happiness. When we make connections with positive and happy people the feeling can be contagious.

Chemistry Class

Dopamine, Serotonin, Endorphins, and Oxytocin are the quartet known as the happiness chemicals. As we find ourselves in many situations these neurotransmitters are triggered that create our happiness. When we learn to recognize what makes ourselves as well as others happy we can regulate happiness.

Dopamine will help motivate us to reach our goals while we realize the feeling of pleasure. Completing small achievable goals releases small yet frequent releases of dopamine that will maintain our happiness. By continuing to establish new goals and working towards accomplishing them we can live in a state of euphoria.

Serotonin will be released when we feel important and noteworthy. Our feeling of connection with others will release serotonin. We can help the release of serotonin by reflecting on past achievements and pleasurable experiences.

Endorphins are released to elevate pain and as a response to stress. They can be released during a time when an athlete needs a second wind or while laughing.

Oxytocin is the glue that holds together happy and healthy relationships. It creates intimacy and trust and is also released during orgasm. The simplest way to help release oxytocin is a simple as giving someone a hug.

When we recognize what conditions help ourselves and others release these happiness chemicals we can focus our efforts on maintaining heightened levels.

Relationship Nirvana

Nirvana is the perfect place of peace and happiness. When we find nirvana in our lives, relationships and experiences, we continue to release the four happiness chemicals. When we get into a perfect rhythm of flow, our connections to people, places, and situations keeps us naturally happy.

Emotional intelligence is to be aware of, control, and express one’s emotions, and to handle relationships with empathy.

By spending time learning what triggers our partner’s happiness and our connection to them we can help keep our relationships in nirvana. When we lack emotional intelligence we may miss the subtle cues that will help us recognize how others feel.

Honesty and trust are established in meaningful relationships. When we share with others whom we trust, we make an unwritten bond that helps build the foundation for a lasting relationship. Letting those we trust know when we feel angry, anxious or sadness they can help lift us out of our slump by helping them focus on the joys and happiness they have known in their lives.

Listen to the people with whom you have a relationship and find their sources of happiness. Be warm, kind and nurturing as you listen and learn how they feel and how you can help them maintain their level of nirvana. And most important all, ask people “how do you feel”?