One of the first words I learned as a child was the word No. I know my parents and elders felt my use of the word was the last great act of defiance however I was clearly setting my boundaries.
Having a firm understanding of where our boundaries are helps us to set the rules of which we personally live by. Rules are made to be broken and therefore if you have a open mind and are willing to understand other’s perspective you may decide to modify your rules.
I’ve overcome some of my own obstacles I’ve encountered simply by saying “no”.
On two separate occasions I quit smoking cigarettes. The first attempt at quitting I tried the nicotine patch, gum and finally settled on sweets and then salts. I’d devour entire bags of chips, cookies just about anything in an attempt to not smoke. It worked for slightly more than two years and then one stressful afternoon I said “ fuck it give me a cigarette” to my friend Billi and there I was back to smoking two packs a day.
The second time I quit I used a different tactic, I simply said “no”. No I don’t smoke anymore. Going on over ten years now since I last smoked I occasionally still miss it however it’s just something I no longer do, Simply by just saying “No”.
Better than a year ago I decided to become a Vegan. Dividing my reasoning into thirds my decision is one third environmental, one third diet and one third empathy to animals. How did I do it? How did I give up cheese, burgers and bacon.
I said “no”.
Watching documentaries on Netflix I’ve become aware of the environmental impacts of large scale factory farming and the lack of sustainability. These same documentaries showcase the quality of life the animals are accustomed to or in reality horrifying conditions. I’ve learned about the health issues associated with eating an animal based diet and finally decided…. You guessed it. To just say No.
By setting my own boundaries and having a firm understanding of what things I refuse to do, decisions have become simple. No I don’t want a cigarette, no I don’t want to take drugs, no I don’t want a beef burrito. And why? I have boundaries…. Invisible rules that I’ve created and follow.
- I don’t pour concrete on Mondays
- I don’t rewire Alarm Systems on Fridays
- I don’t plan my weekends ahead of time
- I don’t grocery shop for a week
- I don’t cheat on my diet because I’m on vacation
The list goes on and on. By clearly setting my own rules by saying no, it’s become easier to do concentrate fully on the situations where I don’t say no. Yes I like to teach people to think, create and find themselves. I like to help people design things, their businesses, spaces, mind and their future.
My abilities to say no is not me being argumentative, I’m being demonstrative as I set my own rules and boundaries.
Tomorrow I make break or modify my own rules based on new understandings or information. I’m always open to re-evaluate and examine life and it’s challenges and attempt to overcome the struggles.
With complete confidence and certainty I’m capable of making large amounts of decisions with a limited amount of thought or contemplating as I’ve already preplanned the basic rules and guidelines of which I follow.
The opposite of “No” is “Yes” and the secret of getting to “yes” is the ability to say no quickly and easily saying no to the things you know will not work.
I can maintain my boundaries in just about any situation simply by saying “no” as I examine my options. My favorite thing to do is say yes. Getting there isn’t always easy however when I do it’s guaranteed to be the right decision and my best decision.
