Every morning I awaken with the thoughts of which me do I care to be today. For I have many versions predicated on the day, time of year and where I am within in my world.
I don’t set an alarm to awaken as my body and subconscious mind are on auto pilot guiding me down my daily path. If I’m complacent and at ease I’ll sleep up until that moment I need to arise and start me day. Recharged with an internal flame that revs my engine to a roar.
But then there are those mornings where I’m haunted, my fears and inner fire greying and ashen as I feel almost extinguished. My mind will race as I try to rekindle my spark but the coldness of my thoughts smolder it away.
I jump into survival mode, my thoughts are the kindling to regain my flame. Alone in the dark I seek the answers as I stare into the cold loneliness of my conscious.
I’ll close my eyes tight as I lie like a mummy in a cold stone sarcophagus, sheets over my head to warm my soul. I’ll breathe in my first warm calming breathe and feel the fuel my flame requires for combustion. My outward breathe the soot from the once smoldering flame.
I breathe in deeper like the bellows of a furnace fueling the kindling as I rage against my darkest inner fears. As if there is nothing but my fearful self tending to the fire.
As I take each warm confident breath the embers become flames, the flames an inferno as I fuel my thoughts and overpower my anxieties. I’m ablaze warm and trued. Tempering myself from my days uncertainty. Knowing who I want to be and how I shall present myself is the key.
My meditative practice soothes my back to a calming sleep. I’ll awaken charged and fearless, with only the courage to be me.